Opening Note
Summer has settled in and it is doing its best to get us outside. The trails are dry and the mornings are cool enough for a long ride, so most days the mountains are making a pretty good case: hop on the bike, go for a hike that runs longer than you planned, take a trail run that disappears into the trees for a while. This is the season the two of us look forward to all year, and it has a way of reminding you what all the earlier work was for.
That is part of why we made a change in June. Starting last month, Midlife Circus moved to every other week. We wanted a little more room between episodes, so we took it. We spend most of our time on the show telling people to enjoy what they have worked for and to make time for the stuff that actually matters to them, so it started to feel a little off to keep saying that while packing our own weeks tight to hit a weekly release. This is a choice, and midlife is mostly about the choices you make. Every other week gives us the room to make each episode the best it can be, and to keep showing up for you this way for years to come.
We put out two episodes in June, and they ended up covering similar ground even though we did not plan it that way. One was about acceptance and rebuilding after things fall apart. The other was about letting go of the things we have been holding onto so there is room for what comes next. Both come back to the same point: you have to clear some space before anything new can take its place.
Ezra Vancilâs episode is worth a special mention. In the middle of the episode he did something we had not had happen on the show before. He picked up a mandolin and played a song for us live, written for the conversation. If you have not heard it yet, watch it instead of just listening. The video is on our YouTube channel, and if you are in Apple Podcasts you can switch to video right inside the episode. Seeing him play it is a different experience than hearing it, and it is worth the couple of extra taps.
One more thing. Thank you to everyone using the message-the-show feature, by text or voicemail. You do not have to wait until an episode ends. If something lands mid-conversation, tell us right then. A few upcoming episodes are coming straight from listener recommendations, which is about the best reason we can think of to keep the messages coming.
Weâre glad youâre here with us.
Podcast Recaps â June Releases
Episode 33: Acceptance as Strength: Recovery and Rebuilding with Musician Ezra Vancil
Ezra Vancil got signed to a music label as a teenager, got dropped by 21, and spent the next two decades collapsing into addiction and isolation before waking up on his kitchen floor at 40 and deciding something had to change. What pulled him out wasnât willpower but acceptance, and learning to trust other people to help him find the way forward, which is the same shift that eventually opened the door to making music with his daughter and building a business with his son. Itâs about as clear a picture of a good second act as weâve had on the show: someone genuinely enjoying his work and his family again after nearly losing both.
Listen now
Links, resources, books mentioned: Follow Ezra Vancil - https://ezravancil.com (shop, book, vinyl, music), Instagram @ezravancil, search âEzra Vancilâ for his music on all streaming platforms
Episode 34: The Stuff We Keep: Why Letting Go in Midlife Creates Room for Whatâs Next
We each walked through our own houses and came back with the evidence: a 90-year-old silk top hat, a custom Harley jacket, a bin of coaxial cables, gold-toed bowling shoes, and a few corporate suits nobodyâs worn in years. This one sorts all of it into three piles, the memories worth keeping, the expensive things held hostage by sunk cost, and the stuff that just needs to go, and gets at the fear and identity sitting underneath why we hang on. What we kept coming back to is that holding onto the old version of yourself takes up the space the next one needs, and letting some of it go is often what makes room for whatever comes after.
Wisdom Drop
What we keep is usually about who we used to be.
A habit that made sense in a season that has passed. A business suit hanging in the closet for a job we are not going back to. A resentment we have carried for years. Each one is really a small monument to an earlier version of ourselves, and keeping it around is a quiet way of staying loyal to that version. The work of midlife is deciding which of those we still want to be. Some are worth keeping. A lot of them are just taking up room. Letting go is not about loss. It is about trusting that the person you are becoming is worth making space for.
One Great Link
âWeâre gonna have so much fun, weâll need plastic surgery to remove our smiles.â
Itâs the middle of summer, which means somewhere out there a family is wedged into a car that is too full, headed somewhere that will not go the way anyone hoped. So we would be doing you a disservice if we did not point you back to the original National Lampoonâs Vacation. Clark Griswold wants one perfect trip to Walley World, and his commitment to that idea, in the face of every possible sign to turn back, is the funniest and truest thing about it. That is what family vacations actually are. Half of them fall apart, half of them somehow become the stories you tell for the next thirty years, and you rarely get to pick which is which ahead of time
Closing Moment
Summer is the good stuff, so we hope youâre out there in the middle of it, chasing down an adventure of your own.
Weâve got one of ours coming. Our first episode in July is going to sound a little different, because Rob and I are taking Midlife Circus out of the studio and down to a remote surf camp in Costa Rica for our first-ever field trip. We talk a big game about adventure on this show, so it was time we brought you along on one of our own. Keep an eye out for it.
However you spend the rest of your summer, go find something fun and say yes to it.
And when you do, weâll be here, cheering you on from the front row.
See you under the tent,
Brent & Rob
Co-Hosts and Creators, Midlife Circus
midlifecircus.fm